Written by Joe Janes
9/1/09
226 of 365
CAST
Boris, 30s
Sophia, 30s
Barbra, 12
Griffin, 60s
Geoff, 20s
Keely, 20s
(Lights up on Boris, a man in his 30s wearing shorts, sandals and a crumpled polo shirt. He is simply standing and staring, intently, on a very fixed point in the direction of the audience.)
SOPHIA (off)
Boris!
(Sophia enters. She is also in her 30s. She is Boris’s wife and is similarly dressed as he. She drags along Barbra, 12, who has a balloon preferably shaped like a zoo animal’s head.)
SOPHIA (continuing)
There you are. Boris, I think we’re ready to go.
BARBARA
Let’s go, Daddy.
(Pause)
SOPHIA
Boris? Did you hear me?
BORIS (still staring)
I heard you, Sophia.
SOPHIA
Well?
BORIS
I can’t leave just now.
BARBRA
Daddy, we already saw the giraffes.
BORIS
I know, Barbra.
BARBRA
Then why are you still here?
BORIS
Because that one keeps staring at me.
SOPHIA
Are you dehydrated? I told you to hydrate at lunch.
BORIS (never breaking his stare)
I’m hydrated. I was just standing here watching him eat some leaves off the top of that tree. Then he stopped, as if he could feel me watching him, and then he just turned his head and stared back.
SOPHIA
Oh, my God. He is staring at you.
BORIS
I know.
SOPHIA
How long as this been going on?
(Griffin, an old retired man, walks up to look at the giraffes. He begins to notice that something is off.)
BORIS
I don’t know. Twenty minutes? I haven’t looked at my watch. I just keep looking back.
BARBRA
Why?
BORIS
Why? I don’t know why? Ask him. He started it.
BARBRA
Hey, giraffe! Why are you staring at my daddy?
SOPHIA
Honey, shush. You’ll get us in trouble.
GRIFFIN
I’ll be damned. That giraffe is staring at you.
BORIS
I know.
GRIFFIN
I come here every day. I’ve never seen anything like that.
BORIS
I think he’s challenging me.
SOPHIA
He’s not challenging you, Boris. He’s just a dumb animal.
BORIS
That’s just it. Maybe he doesn’t think he is. Maybe he thinks he’s better than me.
GRIFFIN
Better than a human? Stare that bastard down, young man.
BORIS
I intend to do just that, Sir.
GRIFFIN
Call me Griffin. Retired Major, US Army. I fought in the Great War.
BORIS
World War II?
GRIFFIN
Grenada. October, 1983.
SOPHIA
Thank you for defending our freedom.
GRIFFIN
My pleasure, ma’am. (To Boris) I’ve got you covered, in case that giraffe gets out of hand. (He pats his jacket breast pocket and nods.)
BORIS
Thanks, Griffin.
GRIFFIN
It’s an honor.
(Pause – everyone is staring at the giraffe, now.)
SOPHIA
How long do you expect this to go on, Boris?
BORIS
As long as it takes. I’m not backing down.
(Pause as they all continue to stare. Barbra starts to get antsy.)
BARBRA
Mom, I have to pee.
SOPHIA
Use your big girl bladder.
BARBRA
I am and my big girl bladder is full.
SOPHIA
Okay. Fine. Let’s find a bathroom.
(Sophia rushes off with Barbra. Griffin and Boris still stare out.)
GRIFFIN
Damn.
BORIS
What?
GRIFFIN
Now, my big girl bladder is full. (He starts to exit.) You gonna be all right?
BORIS
I’m a rock.
GRIFFIN
If I don’t make it back, I want you to know, I’m proud of you, Son.
(He salutes Boris and exits. Boris continues standing. Lights fade. Lights come back up on another part of the stage on Geoff. He stands looking out, staring. Keely enters.)
KEELY
You’re still here, Geoff?
GEOFF
That asshole human won’t stop staring at me. Who does he think he is?
KEELY
Asshole human. Leaf? (Hands Geoff a leaf.)
GEOFF
Thanks. (Geoff takes the leaf and chews on it while he continues to stare.) Asshole human.
(Lights fade.)
